Xander was... Xander. Which meant that given the lack of deserving people to be sarcastic at or things he could hit with some sort of metal-headed tool, he'd been reduced to fiddling with his phone.

"Somebody needs to help me eat these," he said, waving his phone at the large pile of Twinkies on the waiting room coffee table. Well, the large ziggurat of Twinkies; every so often he'd stop thumbing the glowy blue button on his phone and use the results to add a couple more levels to his creation.