"I ... I think I know the feeling." Rikku smiled back at her, not entirely getting the reference, but Denial was pretty universal. "You mean because of ... going back, and all that?"
"I know, I guess. Just ... Yuna? She's the one who gave up everything. She should be happy, and she isn't, so what gives me the right, you know?" She shook her head. "So I feel guilty about being happy, but not enough to go back and be miserable. Fun, huh?"
It wasn't her business, but... "You ... you have the right, too. To be happy. You know? I mean, you have to go back, for your family and to fix things, but ... I don't know."
"What she did, what happened while I was there, going back, my friends leaving in a few weeks," she listed. "Take your pick."
"I think the question to ask is, would she want you to be happy?" Isabel asked, reaching for yet more chocolate. "But I know what you mean. When I came here, I left my brothers home in Roswell to deal with all the alien angst. Sometimes I felt guilty because I was having fun and they were trying to keep themselves alive."
"I'm trying. Sometimes I have to fake it. But more often then not, lately it's real."
Rikku shook her head. "Whoa. That's, uh. That's one heck of a bad week you have going. Month, even. I'm surprised you have any chocolate left."
"She, uh. She would, but that's because ... she's nicer than me. She'd want anyone to be happy and never worry about herself at all, and just be sad and miserable." She shook her head. "And ... maybe it's the same thing, you know? Maybe you coming here is ... you'll be able to go back and help them. I mean, really help them, and you wouldn't if you didn't?"
"Maybe this all happens for a reason, and we're all here to ... help each other." She smiled a bit wistfully. "And ... and I'm glad. That you're happy, here. It's ... it's an incredible place."
"I'm used to it at this point," Isabel shrugged. "And it's either deal or curl up on the bed and cry. Where's the fun in that?"
"Ultimately I hope I can help them. But even if I can't, I still want to be there with them." She nodded, smiling at Rikku's words. "Yeah, it is an incredible place. My life would be so different if I hadn't come here."
Rikku laughed. "That's kind of ... you know, we were on this pilgrimage, right? And it was a total suicide thing, and it was crazy, and yet ... we goofed off and joked and laughed the whole time. As much as we could. We tried to. Because if you're probably going to get yourself killed anyway, then you might as well enjoy what time you have left, right?"
And then sat up straighter. "Oh, wow, not that anyone where you're from is gonna get killed, because ... I didn't mean ... please tell me that did not sound as bad as I think it did."
Facepalming meant more chocolate. "I think everyone's would have. I wonder if this place is some kind of ... I don't know. I don't know if I believe in destiny and all that. Maybe I should. Maybe we're supposed to be here. And ... learn some things, to fix where we're from. Not just machina, but ... I don't know."
"No it's okay, I get it. We did the same," Isabel said. At least eventually they had, once her team learned to trust her.
"That's the best explanation I've ever heard for this place. I've learned a lot being here. Not just facts but things about myself that I never would have expected."
Rikku smiled. "It's kinda, you know. What you have to do. I think so, anyway."
She considered. "It's oddly reassuring, thinking that. That we're all supposed to be here and ... and that it's part of some bigger thing. We help each other out and help our universes out and ... wow. Makes your head spin a little, yeah?"
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-04-27 01:33 am (UTC)"I know, I guess. Just ... Yuna? She's the one who gave up everything. She should be happy, and she isn't, so what gives me the right, you know?" She shook her head. "So I feel guilty about being happy, but not enough to go back and be miserable. Fun, huh?"
It wasn't her business, but... "You ... you have the right, too. To be happy. You know? I mean, you have to go back, for your family and to fix things, but ... I don't know."
no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 01:41 am (UTC)"I think the question to ask is, would she want you to be happy?" Isabel asked, reaching for yet more chocolate. "But I know what you mean. When I came here, I left my brothers home in Roswell to deal with all the alien angst. Sometimes I felt guilty because I was having fun and they were trying to keep themselves alive."
"I'm trying. Sometimes I have to fake it. But more often then not, lately it's real."
no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 01:50 am (UTC)"She, uh. She would, but that's because ... she's nicer than me. She'd want anyone to be happy and never worry about herself at all, and just be sad and miserable." She shook her head. "And ... maybe it's the same thing, you know? Maybe you coming here is ... you'll be able to go back and help them. I mean, really help them, and you wouldn't if you didn't?"
"Maybe this all happens for a reason, and we're all here to ... help each other." She smiled a bit wistfully. "And ... and I'm glad. That you're happy, here. It's ... it's an incredible place."
no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 01:57 am (UTC)"Ultimately I hope I can help them. But even if I can't, I still want to be there with them." She nodded, smiling at Rikku's words. "Yeah, it is an incredible place. My life would be so different if I hadn't come here."
no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 02:11 am (UTC)And then sat up straighter. "Oh, wow, not that anyone where you're from is gonna get killed, because ... I didn't mean ... please tell me that did not sound as bad as I think it did."
Facepalming meant more chocolate. "I think everyone's would have. I wonder if this place is some kind of ... I don't know. I don't know if I believe in destiny and all that. Maybe I should. Maybe we're supposed to be here. And ... learn some things, to fix where we're from. Not just machina, but ... I don't know."
no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 02:16 am (UTC)"That's the best explanation I've ever heard for this place. I've learned a lot being here. Not just facts but things about myself that I never would have expected."
no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 02:23 am (UTC)She considered. "It's oddly reassuring, thinking that. That we're all supposed to be here and ... and that it's part of some bigger thing. We help each other out and help our universes out and ... wow. Makes your head spin a little, yeah?"
no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 02:34 am (UTC)