izzyalienqueen | Room 406, evening

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Room 406, evening

After a weekend of fun and a surprisingly deep conversation, Monday brought workshops of insanity and brain-breaking. Isabel was still chuckling when she returned to her room after workshops. With nothing pressing to do, Isabel opened her laptop and started to search for some decent Supers fanfic.

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"A disclaimer? What kind of disclaimer?" Charlie asked, taking another chocolate and unwrapping it. "And see, if it were that simple, if I just wanted to date only him, I guess it would be. Except for possibly being rejected. Which is simple, but sucks."

"Just that we kind of kissed once," Isabel said in a rush. "But it was only once and it won't happen again." Annie jumped up on the bed and Isabel scooped her up, grateful for the distraction. "Do you want to date someone else? Besides him?"

"Oh," Charlie said blankly. Okay, this was weird. But... it was only once, and she'd known he was kissing other people, and... Don't be stupid. "I didn't, I mean." She blew out a breath, and looked at the cat, not able to meet Isabel's eyes. "I do. But. He's got someone. He's totally and completely not interested in me at all. Except as a friend."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known better but my brain sort of disengaged that night." Holding Annie out, Isabel offered her to Charlie, knowing how nice fuzzy comfort was. "Who? If you want to tell me that is. I won't say anything to anyone."

Charlie took Annie, and buried her face in her fur for a second, then wistfully asked, "Promise? Turtle already knows, but I really don't want it getting back to him. It's incredibly awkward and it makes everything more complicated." She smiled a little. "I don't mind you kissing Johnny. At least, I don't mind you doing it, or, I don't know. Maybe I don't have the right to mind, when I'm crushing on someone else."

"I promise," Isabel replied solemnly. "Well me kissing Johnny is a moot point. It won't happen again." No matter how much she'd been tempted to on the roof last nigth. "Since you were only casually dating, I really can't see it being a problem."

"See, yes." Charlie frowned, then said in a tiny voice, "Dean Winchester."

There. That wasn't so hard was it? But no, she wasn't going to let go of Annie any time soon.

"Oh he's a really nice guy," she said. "I can totally see where you're coming from."

"Yeah," Charlie said, feeling less stupid, but more hopeless. "So. I like kissing Johnny, but the kissing everyone else is getting... weird. And I really, really like Dean, but that's not going to happen, and Turtle said I deserved better, and I don't know what I'm doing, Isabel. I'm so confused."

"I don't have any easy answers for you," Isabel said quietly. "I mean Dean and Alec are Dean and Alec and have this thing that works for them. I can't see that changing any time soon. As for Johnny, I guess it's your call. If you can deal with being one of a crowd, then why change it. If you can't? There's nothing wrong with being single."

Charlie thought about that, stroking Annie's fur, then sighed. "It doesn't make me really lame and immature that I can't deal, when I thought I could? If I like him as much as I liked Dean, I could just say that, I think. But I don't. I like him, he's funny and sweet, but...."

"Absolutely not," she replied firmly. "I couldn't deal. No way." Reaching for another chocolate, Isabel nodded. "He's funny and sweet, but yeah, Romeo and Juliet you're not. I do have to say though, he is a nice guy. Just...flashy."

"Yeah," Charlie said in relief, since this was closer to how she felt about him than Turtle's upset. "He's got more experience than me, and I don't want to keep wondering, and I want to be friends, you know? Even though I'm going to miss the kissing." She reached for another chocolate, smiling a little. "If I could be a friend he kisses, that would be nice, but I don't think any guy wants that."

"Did he push you at all?" Isabel asked, frowning. She'd kick his ass if he did. "Don't let anyone push you into anything you don't think you're ready for."

She sat back, crossing her legs and resting her chin on her hand. "I know what you mean. I miss kissing. And I honestly don't think he'd have a problem with you being a friend he occasionally kisses. Again with the, if you're okay with that."

"No, he didn't push. He just kind of-- assumed? No, that's not even it." Charlie frowned, trying to explain it to herself as well as Isabel. "It was just obvious that he thought there'd be more eventually. And I was too embarrassed to actually talk about it." She blushed a little. "I'm not ready. I mean, not for the whole actual real sex thing. Maybe some other stuff, but not that." Clearing her throat, she said, "And this part's dumb, but I kept wondering if he was comparing me to other people."

"If you're not ready, you're not ready," she shrugged. "He's a big boy. He can cope. I'll be honest, Greg was the first, and the only person I ever slept with. Well okay, I slept with Jack, but we really did just sleep. But it took time before Greg and I took that step. We waited till we were both ready." Isabel couldn't stop herself from staring off into the distance for a moment, remembering that trip to the woods.

"Was it nice?" Charlie asked hopefully. "The first time? I've always read it's no fun, the first time it happens." She turned red. "And you don't have to answer that, it's so none of my business."

"It was," Isabel replied, smiling at the memory. "We were nervous, and we laughed a bit, but it was nice and sweet and everything I would want the first time to be."

"Cool." Charlie put her chin on the edge of Isabel's bed as she watched Annie roll around, thinking. "Even if it were Dean, I'm not sure I could... but I'd try," she admitted. "But I don't feel like that about Johnny. I don't know why."

"You shouldn't have to try. When it's right, you'll know," she told her. "You don't feel like that about Johnny because you don't have an emotional connection with him. I'm not saying you have to be in love with whoever it winds up being. But you want it to be with someone who you care about and who cares about you."

"Yeah," Charlie softly agreed. She nodded, and took one last chocolate. "Thanks, Isabel. I needed the reality check. Turtle was all for calling him a jerkface and leaving it, but... this helped."

"He's not a bad guy. He reminds me of a friend actually. Who was an even bigger flirt if that's possible," Isabel smiled. "But he was a good friend. And that's what's important."

"Yeah," Charlie said, then more strongly, "Yes. Okay." She popped the chocolate in her mouth, then scooted to her feet. "I think I'm going to talk to him while I still have the nerve. Otherwise I'll wimp out and just avoid him. And that's no fair."

"No, it's not," she agreed. "Good luck. And if you want to talk more, I'll be here."

Charlie gave her a bright smile as she walked out the door. "If you need anything, same goes, Isabel. And thanks for letting me play with the kitten!"

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izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com - 2007-06-26 02:05 (UTC) - Expand

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